Align Wellness Solutions is a holistic therapy practice. This not only means that we utilize holistic modalities – neurotherapy, biofeedback, yoga, meditation, breathwork – in addition to traditional types of therapy, but also that we believe that our bodies and minds are not separate entities. There are many things that you can do outside of therapy sessions that will support your healing.
 

• Eat whole foods as much as possible, and limit processed foods.
• Drink enough water.
• Limit your intake of sugar.
• Limit caffeine if stress/anxiety are a concern for you.
• Go easy on yourself with food guidelines, and all guidelines. Opt for grace, and do whatever you can ease-fully do without increasing your stress or feelings of shame.
• Move your body. Easy does it. More is not necessarily better. If you’re here for stress/anxiety – gentle exercise is better than high intensity workouts that will increase your cortisol and stress hormones. Walking, yoga, swimming.
• Eat a variety of foods so you are getting enough of the building blocks – our bodies, including our brains, are literally made up of the foods we eat! Your brain and body is healing, and it needs all the tools to do that. Looking for more guidance here? I suggest Dr. Andrew Weil’s anti-inflammatory food pyramid. And also – don’t get too caught up in this! There are no “bad foods.”
• Omega 3s and healthy fats – these are important! Your brain especially needs these healthy fats and oils to create new connections, which is basically exactly what we are doing in therapy as you learn new ways to react and cope. If you want to change your behavior or perceptions, we have to change your brain. And that requires healthy fats!
• Grace. Have I said yet to go easy on yourself? Curate your social media feeds. Delete accounts whose posts make you feel bad about yourself. Add supportive, non-shaming accounts. Fit-spo: NO. Body positivity: Yes. Photos of people partying when you’re trying to get sober: Nope. Russell Brand and other fun, sober celebs: Yes. Hustle, hustle hustle entrepreneur accounts when you’re stressed and feeling not-enough: Hell to the no. Brene Brown, Dr. Christianne Northrup, and other successful ladies who promote reasonable boundaries and rest: Definitely yes. Ask me for recommendations if you need some.
• Limit your media consumption in general. Take in just enough news to feel adequately informed, from rational, non-inflammatory sources. The news media makes money by very intentionally increasing your level of stress and anxiety.
• Establish a routine. Predictability and repetitiveness breed a sense of safety and control. This makes brains happy, especially traumatized or overwhelmed brains.
• Look at your schedule. Are there things you can take out? The deeper the work you’re doing in therapy, the more time you need to rest and reflect. Limit busyness. Limit rushing. Limit the hustle.
• Get enough sleep.
• Eat regularly. Don’t skip meals.
• Put your bare feet and hands on the earth.
• Breathe air, in through your nose, into your belly, out through your nose.
• Get in water. Add Epsom salts.
• Comfort foods can be your friends. Especially when we are stressed – warm, creamy, sweet foods are grounding. Sometimes that’s what our body needs.
• Essential oils: lavender, vetiver, sandalwood are some of my favorites for grounding and calming. Eucalyptus is clearing. Peppermint is energizing. Diffuse them or mix a couple drops into your lotion.
• Probiotics. The majority of the feel-good chemicals in your brain are actually created in our guts! Things need to be in balance, and for most Americans, they aren’t.
• Ashwagandha – this is an adaptogen, which means it can be both energizing or calming, depending on what your system needs. It is not mood altering, and is taken regularly to be effective – it just works to keep you in balance, especially stress-hormone-wise. Natural supplements like this are taken much like vitamins, not like western medicines, which we expect to have immediate effects.
• Anti-inflammatory agents like Turmeric or Ginger are great at reducing inflammation – which is involved in many physical and mental health issues. Add them to your food, smoothies, or teas. (or there are also turmeric tablets).
• Herbal supports - I'm not a medical practitioner or herbalist, so I don’t offer prescriptions or recommendations, just suggestions for you to explore via your own research and discuss with your medical providers, especially to determine how they may impact what you already take. I am happy to offer some more specific direction for your research when I have helpful info to give.
• Above all: healing does not (will not, cannot) happen from a place of shame or not-good-enough. Yes, you are probably in therapy because there are things you want to change. That can be true and at the same time, you must believe that you are already ok. You are already worthy and wonderful just the way that you are, even while you have areas you’d like to improve. It is from this space of dual awareness that healing takes place. If you only do one thing on this list, it must be this thing. You must know that you are good. You are deserving of the good gifts that therapy can bring. Already. Right now. Not once we do some work, or once you cross some items off this list. Already. Right now.
  

We live in an either/or world. Either I'm right, or you're right. I either have, or I have not.  Either I'm ok, or I'm not ok. What if it doesn't have to be that way? In philosophy, religious studies, and business, the both/and idea opens up the playing field and allows for more possibilities than the rigid either/or model. Both/and says that we can both be right. And maybe, that I can be both not ok, and ok at the same time.

In DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), this is the dialectic. A dialog between two seemingly opposing ideas. The idea that two things can be true at the same time. That there is space for both, and that we don't have torture ourselves with the either/or. I can experience this intense craving and also not use drugs or alcohol. I can feel scared and move forward with the scary thing. I can feel angry and guilty about my anger and silly about feeling guilty and believe that my anger is justified, all at the same time. There don't have to be ors, even when all the ands don't seem to make sense.

In EMDR, a highly effective technique for treating trauma, we see the both/and concept in the practice of dual awareness. In fact, EMDR works largely because it allows us to remember and in some ways re-experience a traumatic event, while also attending to the present moment, where we are reminded that we are safe. EMDR asks us to feel distress and (re)process unpleasant memories, and at the same time, to hold onto the awareness that in this moment, we are ok. In fact, EMDR can't work without this dual awareness. With no awareness of our current safety and ok-ness, the trauma is too scary or overwhelming, and no healing will occur. And without holding space for the discomfort of the trauma to arise, it remains hidden, unprocessed, and lurking underneath to continue to do us harm. Even outside of EMDR, I believe that healing requires both: feeling discomfort, and feeling ok.

We don't like feeling discomfort. (Thank you, Captain Obvious). Much of human behavior is done to avoid discomfort. Sometimes, really maladaptive, harmful behaviors are continued despite negative consequences because we believe that they will allow us to avoid discomfort. The trouble is, that the only way for the uncomfortable emotions to leave us is to move through us. By the time people come to therapy, they have usually accepted the idea that they are going to have to experience some discomfort in order to heal. Sometimes that knowledge is the very barrier that keeps people from getting help. But here's a bit of good news - I see one of my number one jobs as a therapist as helping you remember the other half of that equation. Yes, working through your stuff that you've buried will be uncomfortable. It will feel bad. Sometimes, really bad. But at the same time - you are also/already ok.

Sometimes we are so used to feeling pain (manifesting itself as depression, anxiety, addictions, physical pain, etc.), that we have lost sight of the other piece of dual awareness. Healing cannot occur when we are solely mired in our pain. We must also, at the same time, hold a tangible sense of safety - an awareness that we are ok. So, one of my most important jobs as a therapist is to help you develop the connection with that part of yourself. It is only when you feel connected to your inherent ok-ness, safety, and worth, that all of the uncomfortable stuff can be effective. So, it's ok to feel like shit sometimes, as long as you also are connected to the fact that you are ok. Most people are great at the feeling crappy part - reach out for help if you need support in connecting to the good stuff that will allow your suffering to have meaning, and bring about healing.

I've included below a meditation that I have used with my clients, intended to help you practice this dual awareness - experiencing an uncomfortable feeling while maintaining a connection to your safety and worth. If at any time during this meditation you feel overwhelmed by your negative feelings, or unable to feel connected to a place of ok-ness, simply stop the meditation and simply return to slow, deep breaths.